Forgiveness of Self

There are small incidents that I use at times to separate myself from the knowing that I am the child of Love. As such an offspring, I am the inheritor of the power that is God. I forget, and in forgetting find myself in alienation from the Source of my being. I was reminded just how much I can scare myself, by straying away from the joy that is always within reach. Once I stop being so afraid, I can reclaim my inheritance. To hear tell, by those who know me well, I am relatively fearless. That is to say, I plunge right in, where others may stop and question if a step should be taken. Because of this heedless trait, I have gotten my feelings hurt, lost possession, been stranded, had wonderful adventures, and even lost a friend or two.  

Throughout all of that, however, I have learned. Lessons are contained in every situation. Once I got caught in one of my plunging ins. I had to look at myself honestly. I had a seemingly harmless trait, that I have mitigated over the years. That self observation made me to know I had to let that trait go entirely. My intention to become fully awakened. My goal is clear, and anything and everything that my ego places upon the path to that goal, I will remove with love. I need my ego fully surrendered to the Christ within to get through all of this.

Now the jar of pickle that caught my hand was talking about another.  It was not that I was gossiping, well perhaps it could be counted in the gossip column. I was speaking of the facts concerning the behavior of another. She walked in! I had no alternative but to change the subject. Yes, I had an alternative. I could have spoken the truth and made amends right there on the spot.  So I chose the alternative to smooth over the subject with a none too elegant  transition. It was very obvious what was going on. 

 I know that such actions deter the advent of the kingdom within. They cause strife, a state I am working to eliminate.  Do you know that I actually asked myself, what would I talk about  if not other folks? I had to learn to remain silent and listen instead. A mighty task, but this habit, which can produce harm in the experi­ence of another, could not continue. At the time I was on a roll with the divine in the human my constant thoughts. Plus I had adroitly used that incident to stand between me and the divine in me. I forgave myself. 

That is not just a smart sounding statement, but the truth. Only I can forgive myself, as only I know the depth of my errors. Since the Source and Center who created me, sees me only as I was created, pure, innocent and with no character defects. The only being left who can forgive me is me. I am the only being left who sees my errors. The opinions of others have no bearing; they are entirely free to forgive me as well.  

Self forgiveness have much to do with self acceptance. That is not the way of the social consciousness. The social consciousness teaches that forgiveness must come from someone else, preferably a priest or someone equally as qualified.  But like all the other lessons from the social consciousness it is enticing me to look outside of myself for the solace which may only be found within myself. I am taking my stand. All that is necessary for me to come to peace about this, and any other error, I may catch myself committing, is to forgive myself.   

So I repeat, I forgave myself. That self forgiveness carries with it the obligation to be vigilant about my behavior. I had to watch when I slipped into the old habit of talking about others and apply self forgiveness immediately. It worked too. Consciousness brought to bear on any area of experience is capable of changing it. That has been my experience with so many areas in my experience. I know with attentiveness this habit could be broken, and it was.  I intend to take no baggage with me into the transformation.  

 One by one, or en mass, I will lay them aside.