The Cause of My Problems (er Challenges)

The quiet word that came abruptly into my mind was upsetting at first. It suggested I was having a problem. I looked in a mirror and saw the cause of that problem. That may sound like a sort of truism that does not need to be examined. It is more than that. That statement contains the great truth; I am the creator of my world. If that world is not functioning as I would like it to function, then the person to change it is me. It is my oft repeated statement that I take responsibility for all that happens in my world. When probed with the lens of truth, that responsibility shows signs of wanting others to change. I know the words, it is not possible to change another. I also have the hope that others would come around to my point of view. They would then change themselves into the pattern I hold for them, leaving swaths of peace in its wake. 

Now, remember, this pattern that I want others to fit is for there best good. Always that is my intent. I can see so clearly how others may mitigate their behavior to meet what I consider to be a standard so high that they would surprise themselves. Not that I know every little thing that occurs in the life of another, but do I not know truth!  Do I not know that a gentle manner would be far more productive for someone else than a rough manner?  Am I not then able to see how that person may change so that I may be more comfortable in their presence?

Again the gentle words of the living Christ within me remind me that the only entity on the face of this earth that I am able to change sits here in my skin. I would think that by now I have grown to the degree where seeking to change others is well within the past. But no, I can't always stop myself from wanting to meddle.   

There is a subtlety to the growing process that demands attention. The nuances of how manipulative I can be sometimes escapes me, simply because I do not want to know.  It would be so lovely, if I could just pray one prayer, do one meditation and all the gross intentions would immediately leave my consciousness. I would then arrive into the moment a full grown Christed individual.  But it is a process with all the active processors lining up in the form of friends, relatives, co-workers, total strangers, tax collectors, ministers, lizards and other various and sundry activists. Minor and major actors showing up in my experience to act as the very mirror, I need, to see me more clearly.  In any given event, it is not always the lesson or insight that is the first thing I see. No, more often than not, it is the way someone else may modify a certain behavior or characteristic to allow me to be comfortable with what I see.

This tendency is not as blatant as it used to be, as growth in The Teachings has produce some fruit. Owning all the stuff is the first step to moving through the stuff into the living light I call the Christ. I intend to live the rest of my eternal life within that light. The stuff I must own is mostly in my mind, as one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit has been a tightening of my tongue. I remember when I was accustomed to commenting on every­thing I saw.  And one of the gifts I brought into incarnation is a very keen observation. This used to disturb people, as for the life of me I could not keep my mouth shut. I had so much to say, the fact that some people did not want to know the "truth" about themselves, or their situation, completely escaped my atten­tion. And rightly so. The process of looking at my own stuff and owning it has brought to me the gift of keeping silent even in the teeth of the obvious. Now the Holy Spirit is leading me to see beyond and not even notice the obvious as I am wont to do still.

These are very general observations about my own proclivities and not at this time pointed at any given situation. For that I am grateful. It is becoming clear to me that I do not need to create discomfort to be aware of areas within myself that needs to be surrendered to the living light within me. All that is necessary is for me to pay attention, and the Holy Spirit is faithful, and will reveal what I need to understand moment by moment in answer to my prayer for more light in my experience.  

 It is said that every prayer is answered, and it has been my experience that the prayers that receive the fastest answers are those for growth and under­standing. The ancient sage counseled for us to seek the light of clear knowing and all things will be given to us.  Seeking the light of clear knowing is seeking to see with the eyes of Spirit always.   

I know that when I see with the eyes of Spirit I do not see people as needing to change.