Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Happiness



Deep within the core of me, well below the level of language, in the center of all spaces, lives happiness. To enter and partake of the luscious fruits this happiness holds, I must surrender in each moment to that which is greater than I.  There is something which haunts me, which seems to desire all my thoughts and feelings, to distract me from communion with happiness. This figment of disruption is quite incapable of causing even the tiniest ripple in the lake of my happiness. There are times when I hold the disruptive shadow close, and believe myself to be other than happy. Happiness is constant; a living stream within the center of my being. There, within me, just below the surface of consciousness, flows the stream of happiness, a hum, underlying all my thoughts and feelings. It bubbles up often into song, a smile, peals of laughter, a sigh, a poem and love.

Happiness has always been a part of who I am. In former times I used events to allow myself to flow in the stream of happiness. If there were no events to warrant its presence, I pretended it was not there. This happiness is primal, a thread in the fabric of my very being. It invites me to dance on moonbeams and laugh with the lizard on my doorstep. I ofttimes desire to deny its presence; to appear happy where the reason is not apparent, is not part of the social milieu in which I live. To be accepted, I push hard upon this happiness and turn my face toward adversity. That, I think, is the more sane of responses to given situations. Yet my happiness, denied, runs smoothly through my moments undisturbed by events and circumstances.

Happiness calls to me from the shaft of sunlight laying brightly on the window sill. It beckons me to follow its bright path as it flows over my body as a cooling breeze on  a warm summer night. It holds within its easy embrace my fulfillment. It speaks quietly of a light burden and an easy yoke. I choose often to see what it has not brought. In the darkness of shadows, I experience what is not there. I call that experience unhappiness in denial of the strain of happiness weaving itself through each of my moments.

 This day I allow happiness to have its perfect way with me.