Seeking

Now, the purpose of this entry was to look at what I am seeking. The thought came to me first thing that morning is that I really was not, and perhaps have never, sought the kingdom for its own sake. Rather, my seeking through these years has been for the fruits of the kingdom. Be that fruit peace, money, companionship, a better life, it was always about the tangible results of such seeking. I have masked the truth of this by saying that the proof of my efforts must be made manifest for me to know that the path I have chosen was the right one. 

Yet the master did say "seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things shall be added unto you." That was not exactly what I was doing. I was seeking all these added things. That is true. Now I do know that some of my thinking, meditating and focus on the wisdom of the teachings, have borne fruits in an added amount of peace and joy throughout this process.  But I have not been single minded seeking the kingdom. I am not sure have to differentiate the kingdom from the fruits that flow from the seeking. I do know that the emphasis must change.  It must now be seeking the Kingdom of Love for the sake of Love.

The process leading to entrance into the kingdom must be single mind and I must allow the fruits to flow as a consequence, not as a goal.