Saturday, August 1, 2015

What is it we want?

Some of what I want now, I want simply because I've always wanted and have not really examined myself to see if I still want it. Some of what I want is brand new. For example, I now want to live in a house, with big yard space.  But I am very clear that the reason I want this is that I want to grow food. Now, we are talking about a person who grew up in a city, and had never lived anywhere far from asphalt and concrete. Yet this wanting a space to grow food is very strong in me. I know from The Teachings that in order to have anything one must desire that thing. As desire is the first step in the process of manifesting any thing on the physical plane. So living in a house cannot happen unless I first desire it, then want it, and the final step prior to the actual manifestation is to visualize myself in it. All very good metaphysics, each and every step.   

It just came, this wanting to live in a house with a big yard. I know it is from the Father, and that there is a purpose for this, so I encourage this desire, talk about, and am now in the process of actually visualizing myself planting many different kinds of vegetables, and perhaps some flowers. I like flowers.  Add to that dream the cat. Yes, me who tend to sneeze whenever there is a cat in the area, has decided to take the stray that lives around the office into my home. The cat knows it too. The other morning, as I was walking up the walkway to the office door, he stalked out to greet me, with that soundless meow they tend to make.  So the cat is in there somehow. 

All of this wanting does not disturb that underlying contentment I am always talking about.  The desires are there, a natural part of living in a body, but they are not the validating factors in my life. They are merely the manner in which I would like to see my life change. The contentment comes from somewhere else.  It comes from living in the Presence of the Christ within me as often as I remember. And the beauty is that as often as I remember, I am drawn into a loving communion with this very bright light within me, and am surrounded and imbued with this light. That's what give me the contentment, and the frequent outburst of the most sublime happiness, that makes me laugh out loud often. I don't have hear a joke, the laughter just come, and there are times when I am hard press to say why I am laughing.

(Culled from 1996 Journal entry...I never took the cat home.)