Uncontained

I wrote the following on Monday, March 02, 2009 and it rang so very true to my current state of consciousness, I simply cut and paste it here as a journal:

My contained self and my Uncontained self are the one self of me. I have been half exploring the connection with the two facets of my self and have come to the conclusion that inasmuch as I have been making semi-conscious efforts to allow the Uncontained self to be the arbiter of my life, I have been dwelling in an unacknowledged fear for too long. I truly do not now know the seat of that fear, as lord knows I have been trundling in my psyche seeking for all the blockages to my prosperity, and to this point have not found the key to loosening the flow of prosperity that I know without a doubt is mine to have.

Now I do know that part of my grand plan is to win the lottery. It may seem quite trivial to some, and even foolish to many, a gamble, but this I know it is a vital part of the manner in which I came to do earth. That being said let me now affirm that the Uncontained self holds the answer. I remember that channeled entity telling me that I could not be given the numbers, as that was the challenge I was given to solve. Well folks, I am at the end of my tether, and know not what else to do. I know that I have to talk things out, and have not found another human being with whom I feel safe enough to discuss this with. Why is that? It is the first of the month, I have enough money to pay this month’s way, yet I find myself unable to sleep. It is 4:52 am and I decided to make this note. Once committed to a particular course of action, I must proceed with all due dispatch to move from this flat place. I have carved a groove of much television, little interaction with other folks and a different type of stasis than before, but stasis nonetheless.

I do trust that my Uncontained self holds the contained portion of me in high esteem. My safety is assured. Knowing the Uncontained self as the creator of the self I know as Cecelia, makes the acceptance of God much more personal and intimate. But there is little or no emotional commerce with the Uncontained Self. It is very dry and rational, confined to the intellect. I asked myself earlier what emotion do I need to feel to allow the connection to be cemented within my heart. I understand so much that I do not feel.