My Human Body

 I am becoming aware that I have been experiencing my physical body somewhat differently since going on Hospice. During the two years leading up to becoming a client of hospice I was experiencing the body through the rhythms of cancer medications, pet scans, MRIs, infusions and the effects those procedures had on and within the body. Then, towards the end of those cycles, severe pain. 

Saturday night, that changed drastically and perhaps I did not handle with as much grace as I would like to boast about. It started with copious sweating, not the famous hot flashes women are supposed to get, but a drenching sweat which forbad sleep all night long. accompanying the sweating was a debilitating weakness, which asked nothing more than I lay down with my eyes close. This malaise followed me into Sunday. I called my wonderful nurse, and she comforted me and encouraged me to eat something when I confessed, I had not eaten for the past two days. Toward nightfall on Sunday a smidgen of an appetite showed itself, and my niece made a steaming bowl of oatmeal which I gladly ate.

 After that I slept until Monday morning, sweaty clothes and all. Come Monday morning the cheerful bather showed up and proceeded to assist me with a bath which took that sweaty feeling from my body. Her attention and caring lifted my spirits and left me with a feeling of exhilaration. and joy. After she left, and with clean pajamas on, I made myself breakfast and slept. Actually, I slept almost the entire day and night.

Today is Tuesday and a new pattern is revealing itself. I feel renewed and very lively. To make my day as perfect as a day can be, my hospice assigned chaplain visited, shortly after noon. No sooner had she left when my favorite nurse came for her weekly visit.

I am so very grateful for the new pattern that is emerging. It will afford a new consciousness through which to see living my Human Body.

The Photo was taken November 2021 at the start of the cancer treatment, I was on my way to radiation treatment.