Impediments to Peace
There are little things that sit in our psyches, gnaw at our
thoughts, disrupt jour pensive moments, and form impediments to our grand
expansion and glory. They may go unnoticed for years. If we address these
impediments, by owning them whenever we encounter them, it serves our expansion
and adds to our peace. This takes the energy embedded within them to neutral,
thus making it available to expand our
consciousness in the upward direction of our soul’s progress. An example of
this from my own experience will show that even those of us who are seeking to
consciously expand our consciousness have such spaces within themselves.
Back in 2001 I was living in Daytona Beach and scuffling to
put food on the table and pay the rent. I was in between income bearing
activities when I saw the ad for drivers at the car auction. I applied and was
hired. It was much fun as all the drivers were lined up and drove the next
available vehicle. Most of the vehicles were in disastrous condition. Some had
to be pushed to get started and the engines revved up to keep running while in
line to enter the auctioneer’s cavernous space. Thus you may be eyeing the
sleek shinny almost new car, but got the one that had to be pushed to get
started and had a manual transmission that was difficult to change. It was
always a rush as the lines had to be kept moving at the pace of the
auctioneer’s rapid fire cadence. After leaving the auctioneer’s space, through
which you drove slowly, it was back to the lot and park in the same spot from
which you took the car. Waiting in the
line was akin to being in a traffic jam at rush hour. As I said much fun. I
enjoyed the three weeks I worked there.
One day sitting in the huge golf cart which hauled the
drivers around from lot to lot enjoying the banter of my fellow workers, a
slender Caucasian woman said something funny (I don’t remember what she said)
but I added something which was meant to be funny also. She whipped around and
looked me in the eye and said,”I was not talking to you.” The hurt I felt was
so deep I had all I could do not to cry.
I mulled over scathing replies for about a day or two, then
did a forgiveness exercise and moved on. But the incident left one of those
dark spaces within my psyche that was never addressed until later. The
trigger for my addressing it was brought about by a dream. In the dream I was
living in what appeared to be an apartment with a long hallway presumable
leading to other apartments. There was a slotted opening through which I could
see anyone walking up or down the hallway. A young Caucasian woman smartly
dress walked by and I greeted her with a bright smile. She ignored me
completely, and then stopped at the slot to examine the wall. I reached through
the slot and touched her shoulder saying, “I was greeting you.” With as much
disdain as she could muster, she said, “what did you do that for?” I felt anger
and some of that same hurt I experienced at the car auction that day so very
long ago.
The scene shifted as it does in dreams and I was back inside
the huge apartment hanging up clothes, most of which were black. Inside with me
were two people one of which was a baby; the other a young man. Both of them,
the man and the baby, were Caucasian. The baby obviously wanted to interact
with me, but the man forbade him from doing so. The baby started crying. I
ordered the man to move the baby and both of them to stay in a corner, letting
him know that they were in my space where I set the rules. I was very angry. I also wanted to hold the
baby, but knew I should not, as they both were unrelated to me. I awoke then with the car auction scene in my mind and the
hurt I felt at the woman’s remark fresh in my psyche. A few of the scathing
remarks came to mind, but I knew I had to address the hurt.
It was an impediment to my greater expansion. You see, the hurt was mine; it was the feeling I chose while engulfed in the incident and the feeling I took away from it. I had to heal the hurt. I had to shine the LIGHT of LOVE on the incident, the woman and myself. This telling is a part of the shinning. I am healing that place where hurt burned and scarred for the intervening years between then and now. In the march through my everyday life, I had let it go. It had lived with me for far too long, remaining unnoticed; and impeding my progress. I am grateful for the dream, the incident and the expansion both have afforded me.
I can safely say one impediment down; others to follow.
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